[Five Deadly Everythings]

You can’t do business with Hitler

Posted in *dead*, books by Jef on June 25, 2010

Sung to the tune of “You Don’t Win Friends with Salad.”



Best fight of the year was all-Canadian content

Posted in dim mak death touch, mma by Jef on June 25, 2010

I know all eyes are on the soccer field right now, but I’m throwing my nationalistic tendencies and appreciation for crazy athleticism at the feet of this recent WEC featherweight bout between Canadians Mark Hominick and Yves Jabouin. Wow, what a clinic these guys put on. I know most people would have the Korean Zombie’s debut as their fav fight of the year (and that fight was incredibly good), but the level of technique on display in this Canadian brawl I think sets it a notch above. (Whereas the Zombie and Leonard Garcia were mostly just wildly swinging for the fences.) That, plus the amazing sportsmanship, equals one happy Canadian fight fan. Hats off to both these dudes. The only bad thing about this fight is it didn’t go a little longer.

(image via)

“He is all business, laconic, and deadly.”

Posted in if looks could kill by Jef on June 24, 2010


Do you read your horoscope?

Posted in dead sea scrolling, missives by Jef on June 24, 2010

I don’t really mess with astrology because I don’t believe in it, and also, I don’t really see how (even if the shit was a branch of science) it’s any more useful than other self-help strategies. Telling me to “trust my judgement” or what have you doesn’t really tell me anything I didn’t know already. I’m at a place right now where I don’t really need advice or guidance, I just need to get my shit together. I need action, and my amazing ability to sit around scared and paralyzed without doing anything is something no fortune teller can help me with.

That said, I do despite my best inclinations believe there is something to horoscopes. The common sense wisdom that they’re written so generally they’ll ring true for almost anyone doesn’t work for me, because whenever I do happen to read them I read the entire calendar’s rundown and so much of it does not apply to me. Often I’ll read the blurb for gemini or whatever and be like, really? That’s what some people are dealing with? (p.s. You can gain confidence reading other people’s horoscopes because you’ll discover there are areas in life that are breezy for you, but are apparently big obstacles for others. Like shit, taurus, stop holding so many grudges. You’ll have a fucking ulcer.) When it does apply however, it’s always the libra stuff, and sometimes sagitarius (my moon sign). I talked about this with my sister today, who, by the way, SUCH a scorpio.

Anyway, basically, this is a post-your-horoscope post, and I guess I’m feeling dumb for it so I felt the need to preamble a disclaimer about how smart and rational I am. Maybe I’m full of shit. I’ve been full of worse.

Your emotions are very close to the surface with the Moon returning to your sign today. You are more optimistic about your future, but insecurities could still creep back into your thoughts as quicksilver Mercury runs into a stressful square with naysayer Saturn. Fortunately, you can be realistic without having a defeatist attitude if you believe in yourself.

“Believe in yourself.” Oh right, THAT.

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A porn star, a samurai sword, and a cliffhanger

Posted in *dead*, news stories by Jef on June 6, 2010

Best. Lede. Ever:

A porn actor wanted for allegedly murdering a co-worker with a samurai-style sword was in police custody Saturday after falling from a cliff edge following a dramatic standoff.

Some stories just have it all.